Endings and Beginnings

 It is fast approaching the end of the school year here in the desert where I live. And as you may know, I've talked about this before on the podcast. My oldest child is a senior in high school, and so he is getting ready to graduate in the next couple of weeks. And along with that comes a lot of feelings, a lot of emotions, and a lot of changes for our family.   He has put in a lot of effort and energy into applying for colleges and securing scholarships, and we're so excited for him and that new next step. But before he heads out to college, he actually is planning to serve a mission for our church, the Church of Jesus Christ, of Latter Day Saints. And so he will leave for two years and we will not get to see him in those two years.   And as a first time. Mom sending my child out of the home. That feels a little intimidating. It feels like it's very final and permanent. And if you have a senior in high school, you might be feeling a lot of these same feelings as I am, but even if you aren't, there are a lot of cycles and seasons that we go through as we are raising our children.   And so I wanted to spend the podcast today talking a little bit about beginnings and endings. Now the idea for this podcast I actually came up with last December when I was thinking about the coming year and brainstorming topics that I could talk about here on the podcast that would be helpful and interesting to you.   And as I was looking at that list and really mapping it out on the calendar and deciding when I would share which topics, of course, the thought of having a graduating senior came to my mind and I thought May was a perfect time to share about beginnings and endings. But today I wanna do something a little bit different than how I normally present the podcast.   And I actually just wanna share with you my thoughts and feelings around this big change that we have coming and how I'm navigating it and how I am choosing intentionally the thoughts and feelings and perspectives that I think will best serve me and my family as we navigate this change together. And I hope that this will be helpful for you as you navigate different seasons and cycles in your parenting and as you navigate change in your own life.   So parenting follows the example of nature in nature. We see a lot of cycles and seasons, and I definitely have found that to be true with parenting as well. We go from having babies to having toddlers, to having these little school-aged kids, to having tweens, to having teens, and then they move out and they become adults.   And each stage is beautiful. And each one is challenging in its own way, and just because we move from one stage to another doesn't mean that we're missing the beauty or missing the challenge. It's just different from the phase that we were in before here in the desert. We don't get to experience the same kind of seasonal changes that I was used to growing up in Utah.   But there is this tree that we have and they are all over throughout our neighborhood called the Palo Verde Tree, and it has a really unique way of going through the seasons Right now it is spring and every Palo Verde tree is covered. Every single inch is covered with these beautiful, tiny yellow blossoms.   It is like walking around a fairy wonderland. The only problem is these blossoms make me sneeze like crazy. I am super allergic to Palo Verde trees, so I always look forward to the day when those yellow blossoms will start raining down out of the trees and fall off. Making room for new leaves to grow on the tree.   Throughout the summer, the Palo Verde tree has green leaves and it's rich and full and vibrant, and then it kind of lasts through most of fall. But at the end of fall, the Apollo Verde drops all of its leaves. And throughout the winter, the Apollo Verde is green, but only because the wood in the trunk and the branches has a hint of green.   That's the name Palo Verde. Now, this is a little bit unique because most of the plants in the desert are very vibrant. In the winter, that's the time when they are the most green and beautiful. But these Palo Verde trees might as well be dead. They just look barren and bleak until spring comes. And they start to bloom with these beautiful yellow blossoms again.   Right now in my life, we are approaching winter. I'm seeing the evidence that all the leaves are falling off, and it feels like as this child leaves my home, it's gonna feel barren and empty. We have always been a really close-knit, tight family. We spend a lot of time together. We have a lot of traditions.   We do, and family has been the focus of our lives for the last 18 years. And a good part of that is because my oldest child has always been really supportive of family time. He is like the glue that holds our family together. He is a peacemaker at heart. He's just a friend to everyone. And so as each of our other kids have been born into our family, he has developed a special relationship with each one of them where they know that he loves them and they just look up to him and adore him.   And so our family has always been really close. And the idea of this child leaving our home, I know that it's gonna leave this huge void. He has also been extraordinarily patient with us as first time parents making all the mistakes. He has been the Guinea pig for all of our parenting decisions. And I often wish that I could go back knowing what I know now, because I would have done some things differently, especially when he was just preparing to enter the team years.   I totally could have handled that so much better as a parent, but he has been patient and forgiving with us as his parents. I find myself asking questions like, did I teach him everything he needs to know? Did I prepare him for the journey he's about to take out in the world on his own? Have I done enough?   And I think that these are normal and natural questions for us to have as moms. When we are getting ready to send our kids out into the world without our protective care. We have been there for their whole lives protecting them and loving them and taking care of everything they need. And it can feel scary to let go and let them do it all on their own.   But I know that endings make way for new beginnings. We have to let go to make space for something new. And while my heart is grieving and sad that I will no longer have him in my home under the same roof, I am so excited for this next adventure in his life. I am so excited to see him go out and become who he wants to be.   I am excited to see what he is capable of and see what he is passionate about as he goes out on his own. I am excited for the time when he decides to start his own family that my family will grow and there will be more people for me to love. I am excited about all the memories we still have to make together and the amazing experiences that we are going to still have together, and that's how I'm choosing to look at it.   Yes, it's the end of an era. And it's okay to be sad about it, and it's okay to grieve the things that will no longer be, but it is also the start of a new and beautiful season in his life and in mine, and I am so excited for that journey that we get to take together because the truth is he will always be mine to love.   I can love him whether he lives in my home or whether he lives across the world. I think that part of the reason the teenage years are such a challenging time is because they are preparing us to let go. It's a way to ease us from that child being fully dependent on us to meet all their needs, to provide everything for them to slowly but surely turning the reins over to them to provide for their own needs, to take care of their own selves.   It is a beautiful but necessary part of our journey. The one thing that has become abundantly clear to me as we are navigating this journey is that I have to be willing to let go of what is right now to have the hope of enjoying what is to come. I want you to imagine that you're standing in front of a door, you turn the handle, and you aren't sure what you're gonna find on the other side.   But when you open that door, you are pleasantly surprised by this beautiful Pinterest worthy playroom. It is full of all the fun things. And as you are in the room, your family joins you and you get to spend time with these people that you love so much. You're having so much fun inside this room, but out of the corner of your eye, you notice that there is another door on the other side of the room and you wonder to yourself, I wonder where that door leads.   But you're having so much fun in the room and you really don't wanna leave because you're with all the people you love. Having a great time. But eventually you decide you should go to the other door. You walk toward the door and you turn that handle with trepidation and open it. And to your surprise, you see the most beautiful backyard with a lovely covered patio and lots of room, and you see a lot of people out there.   But in order to go into the backyard, you have to walk through the door. You have to leave the room. You love that. Felt safe and comfortable. You have to leave the people that are in that room behind to walk through the door. But when you do, there is another adventure worth living on the other side of the door, there are more people to love.   There are more experiences to have, and eventually that backyard will feel safe and comfortable. I know endings are hard, especially when there's more to see and do and enjoy inside the room when you feel like you have unfinished business there. But every ending is the start of a new beginning. I am choosing to focus on the new beginning.   I'm taking all the memories I made in the room with me as I walk through the door and into the backyard. And as I look around, I cannot wait to get started enjoying all that the backyard has to offer. I hope that no matter where you are in your parenting journey, you will recognize that beginnings and endings are part of the journey.   That with every ending comes an amazing new beginning that is going to be beautiful in a whole new way. I want you to check in with yourself right now and notice the things that are speaking to your heart, the inspiration that is coming to your mind for you and for your family. Because no matter what I share here on the podcast, the most important message that you need today is the one that has been stirred up in your own heart through your intuition.   If you need help navigating your parenting journey and all of the changes that come along with it, I would love to be your coach and support you inside my enjoy coaching community. Check the show notes for all the details on how you can get inside. https://client.jenbelltate.com/membership