100. Importance of Consistency === We are celebrating today because this is the hundredth episode of "this is going to be fun." About two years ago, when I started this podcast, I knew that I had a lot that I wanted to share with other parents about the joy of raising teenagers and how it doesn't have to be as miserable as everyone makes it out to be. But I had no idea just how much I would learn along the way, and I had no idea that a hundred episodes in, I would still have so much that I wanted to share. As I have prepared for this hundredth episode, I knew that I wanted to share something special and important because, you know, it's the hundredth episode. And I've been thinking about my journey, creating this podcast and sharing it with you and showing up here every single week. And I've realized that one of the most essential ingredients in getting this podcast to where it is today is also an essential ingredient of parenting teenagers. And that ingredient is consistency. Last week was my twin's birthday, and I was reminded of a tradition we started years and years ago around their birthday. When they were really little, my husband worked at a clinic up in a small rural area, and one of his patients was a piñata maker. And she decided that she really wanted to make a piñata for my husband to bring home to our family. It happened to be right around this time of year when he brought the piñata home, and the piñata was bigger than either of my twins. It was enormous. So we decided it would be really fun to have this piñata as part of their birthday celebration. I mean, what little boy doesn't want to smack something with a bat and have candy come out? So we stuffed this piñata full of treats, hung it from the basketball hoop, and got our family lined up and ready to hit this pinata. We lined the kids up in age order. So the twins got to go first, they were turning two, and then we had a four year old, a six year old, an eight year old, and a ten year old. And this piñata was not your average grocery store piñata. It had been expertly crafted. It was sturdy and strong. And so it took a lot for the kids to break through this piñata. But eventually they did. And that piñata was such a big hit with our family that we have had a piñata for my twin's birthday just about every year since. So, I thought it would be fun to use all of that piñata breaking experience to teach you about consistency in parenting. The first lesson of piñatas and parenting is don't give up. If you want to break the piñata, you have to hit it over and over and over and over again until it breaks. And the same is true in parenting. Not hitting, of course, but you need to show up and teach and forgive and love over and over and over and over again until you have the relationship you want with your teen. I have rarely ever, maybe never, seen someone hit a pinata one time, break it open, and all of the candy comes falling out. And even if that happens, it's actually kind of a bummer because part of the fun is hitting the piñata. With each swing we take at the piñata, we are learning. We are able to adjust and modify our swing, modify our aim, and that is how it is with parenting as well. We keep making adjustments and improvements until we get better and better and better at connecting with our teen. But whatever you do. No matter how long it takes, don't give up before you get the reward. The second piñatas and parenting lesson is that each hit matters. Each time you hit the piñata, even the smallest little hits weaken the piñata. The hit that finally breaks the piñata open isn't necessarily the best hit. It isn't the strongest or most powerful hit. It is the result of all the other hits that have come before it that have weakened the piñata enough that it can break. In parenting, sometimes we feel like our efforts are for nothing, that nothing is working. It is not making a difference. It is not changing. And then if we keep going, if we don't give up, eventually something works. And we think it was the thing that we did that worked, but it's not. It's the product of all of the efforts we have made all along the way. Every investment of time and energy and love into that child. Every time we have kept our cool. Every time we have shown up and listened with curiosity. Every time we have created safety and space for our kids to be who they are and feel what they feel every time we validate an emotion that they are experiencing- makes a difference when we add it all up together, that is what builds a relationship. That is what builds the kind of connection that we want to have with our teens. So, if you've been listening to this podcast for a hundred episodes, and you've been trying to do what I share, and it doesn't seem like it's working, just know that each and every time you show up as an intentional parent, it matters. Each of those moments are laying the groundwork and laying the foundation for the relationship you are building with your teen. At some point, the piñata will break open. And you'll think it was that final hit, but I promise you that it is the product of every hit that has come before. The next piñata parenting lesson is that sometimes we miss. We have tried lots of different ways to make piñatas a little bit more challenging and a little bit more fun as our kids have gotten older. One of those is to have them wear a blindfold, which of course makes it more difficult for them to aim correctly at the piñata. And another thing we've tried is to have my husband move the piñata up and down with the rope as they are swinging so that they are constantly trying to hit a moving target. With either of these methods, There are a lot more times when they swing at the piñata and miss entirely. And the same is true for us as parents. As our kids get older, the challenge level increases. All of a sudden we are swinging at a moving target or someone has blindfolded us and we have no idea where to swing or where to aim. Or maybe there's a combination of both of these things: we're swinging with a blindfold at a moving target. That is sometimes what the teen years feel like. So sometimes you are going to swing and you are going to miss. You're not even going to hit the piñata. And that is okay. The only way to get to the candy inside is to keep swinging, to keep showing up, to keep trying. Sometimes when my kids are blindfolded and swinging at that pinata, I try and help them out. I try and give them some instructions like a little bit higher, a little bit lower, a little more to the right, a little more to the left, take a step. And if they follow my instructions, They have a better shot at hitting the piñata. And that is really why I do what I do. Because I want to be the person with eyes wide open who is telling you, take a step to the right, take a step to the left. You need to go a little higher or a little lower so that you know how to connect with that piñata instead of swinging and missing over and over and over again. There are now 100 episodes of this podcast that you can use as a resource. You can go back and listen to episodes on all sorts of topics with helpful ideas and tips to make parenting easier so that you're not swinging and missing. And if you really want help knowing exactly where to swing and where that piñata is headed next, you Come join us in Enjoy, because that is where I can be the eyes when you are blindfolded to help you know exactly where to swing. The final piñata parenting lesson I want to share with you today is that piñatas are meant to be fun. The whole reason we get a piñata is for the experience of swinging at the piñata until it breaks. Of course, the reward is worth it. The candy at the end is awesome, but we could just buy the candy and lay it out and skip the piñata, right? We only do the piñata because the process of it is fun. And I hope that you can apply that to your parenting. What if we saw parenting the way we see piñatas? Like a game, like an activity, like something fun to do, to figure out? What if we could take some of the pressure off of ourselves to hit it and break it open the first time we try and Instead know that the process is part of the experience. The reward is worth the effort But the reward is also so much sweeter Because of the effort. I want to thank you for being here and for listening to this podcast week after week. It makes me so happy to know that there are people all around the world who are benefiting from the things that I share with you every single week. I also want you to know that this summer, I am going to be taking a short break from podcasting so that I can spend more time with my own family. Now I don't want to leave you high and dry, so I will still be publishing episodes all summer long, but they will be replays of some of my favorite episodes from the last two years I have been podcasting. Repetition is key to learning, so I hope that by replaying some of these older episodes, it will actually help you learn the concepts. and understand them and apply them to your life even better. And if you really don't think you can live without brand new content from me all summer long, you can always join us inside of Enjoy, where I teach two live workshops every single month, and you get access to dozens of workshops and classes that I have taught over the last two years to help you in your parenting. I hope you have a fabulous summer with your family, and I cannot wait to be back with you with brand new episodes in August.
