This is Going to Be FUN: the Podcast
Episode 52: Lessons From Dad
Episode Summary:
Parenting Lessons from Dad
Good dads are at the heart of raising emotionally healthy teens.
I have been blessed with amazing father figures in my life and I have learned so much from them. Today I’m sharing 5 lessons I have learned from my favorite fathers and how they are helping me as I am parenting my teens.
These 5 tips are simple ideas you can apply today to improve your relationship with your teen. But, I also hope they will inspire you to think about the parenting lessons you can learn from the father figures in YOUR life.
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In honor of amazing fathers everywhere, I am sharing the lessons I have learned about parenting from 4 of my favorite fathers.
Turn Ordinary Moments into Traditions
When I was little, every Saturday was “Daddy-daughter day”. My dad would take me out to breakfast at “my restaurant” (JB’s because those were my initials). We would fill our tummies at the breakfast buffet while hanging out together, just the two of us.
Then we would run errands or stop at a yard sale on the way home.
It was nothing extraordinary, but it turned the simple everyday moment into something I looked forward to all week. My dad taught me that you can make everyday stuff feel magical by just giving it a name and turning it into a tradition.
Working Side-by-Side Builds Skills and Connection
My father-in-law is the ultimate example of teaching by working together. When we were first married, he was always willing to come and help with whatever project my husband was working on.
His help always led to new skills and a completed project. When my husband started his Doctorate program, we were in the middle of building a garage. My father-in-law came and worked side-by-side with me for weeks so we could get it finished.
While he gave his time willingly, I was always most impressed by his patience as he taught me what I needed to know and let me try and try again until I figured it out.
Sure, I learned about roofing and siding and using power tools, but we also had conversations about all sorts of things. Those teaching moments built our relationship as much as they build a garage.
Show Appreciation and Praise for the Everyday Stuff
My step-dad joined our family after I was already married with a family of my own.
Every time he eats something I cook, he always showers me with praise and appreciation. He goes on and on about how delicious the food was and what a great cook I am.
Not only that, but he is always pointing out the great things my kids do and complimenting my parenting, deal-finding and hosting. He always shows appreciation for the stuff nobody else really notices…the mundane every-day stuff I just do because it needs to be done…and it makes me feel like a million bucks.
When I apply this with my own kids, I notice the same. A little appreciation and recognition for the mundane everyday stuff goes a long way.
A Trip Down Memory Lane is Always Worth It
I am convinced that my husband is the best dad there is, and all my kids agree.
But, we always tease him because he loves a good AirPlay slideshow. If friends or family are over, you better believe that at some point, my hubby is going to have some recent pictures or videos playing on the tv screen.
And while we all roll our eyes and sometimes turn the tv off when it gets excessive, we all secretly love it.
Remembering the good times and the sweet times and the funny times brings everyone together. It starts the best conversations and creates connection.
Be the Fun Parent!
The final lesson is also from my husband, because I learn so much from him and thought you needed a double dose of his awesomeness.
I consider myself a pretty fun person, but at our house, there is no question that Dad is the fun parent. No matter what else is happening, he always makes time for fun with the kids.
He’ll jump in the pool with his clothes on to make them laugh, stay up until the middle of the night with them to finish a puzzle or drop everything to take them to the dollar store for BINGO prizes.
His example reminds me every day, that sometimes you just have to stop trying to get all the things done and make time for what matters most: enjoying the people you love.
What lessons have you learned from the fathers in your life?
I am so thankful for these 4 awesome fathers in my life and I have learned so much from each of them. I bet you have amazing fathers in your life too. Take some time this week to think about a lesson from the fathers in your life that could help you in your parenting.
Mentioned on the Show:
Podcast Transcript
Today's podcast episode is dedicated to all the amazing dads in our lives with Father's Day. This past weekend, I've been thinking a lot about the incredible fathers that I have been able to have in my life, and I wanted to share some lessons I have learned from my four favorite fathers. The first father is my dad. When I was little, we used to go every Saturday morning on daddy daughter day. The first thing we do is go to the breakfast buffet at JBS Restaurant. My maiden name is Jen Bell, and so those were my initials, so of course JBS was my restaurant. My dad loves to tell the story of how much I used to eat in the breakfast buffet and how it would shock all the waitresses that such a little tiny person could eat so much. Mostly Captain Crunch and breakfast sausage. But these daddy daughter dates were so special to me and every single week I would look forward to that time that I got to spend with my dad. As I look back on this, one of the lessons that stands out to me is the importance of creating traditions out of ordinary everyday things. Going out to breakfast on Saturday mornings wasn't extraordinary. We didn't get all dressed up or fancy or anything, and most of the time after we went to breakfast, we ran errands or hit Home Depot or stopped at some yard sales on our way home. But the fact that we made it a priority and we gave it a special name and we could look forward to it every single week. Made it special and I have carried this lesson with me into my own parenting as I have created lots of family traditions out of ordinary everyday moments. The second father in my life that I wanna share a lesson from is my father-in-law. My husband's dad. My father-in-law is the ultimate example of teaching your children with patience and love. So many times, early on in our marriage, my father in-law would be over at our house helping my husband with projects that he didn't quite know how to do. My father-in-law would willingly come over and be right alongside my husband as he figured out how to do the things he didn't know how to do, and they would reason and work through it together until they got it done. When my husband started his doctorate program, we were in the middle of building a garage, and so I had the opportunity. To work right alongside my father-in-law as we finished the siding and roofing of this garage. Now, I knew pretty much nothing about siding or roofing, but my father-in-law was right there with me teaching me everything that I needed to know and being so patient as I figured out how to do this for myself. I have come to appreciate this skill of my father-in-laws even more as I have tried to teach skills to my own kids. Not only was he so generous with his time, but he was also so patient and kind and loving while doing the project, and he always found ways to use those projects as opportunities to connect and build relationship instead of just working to get the project done. After I was married and starting a family of my own, my parents got divorced, and a few years later my mom got remarried to my stepdad. My stepdad has taught me so much about showing gratitude and praising people for their efforts. He always makes the biggest deal. Every time I make him food, he goes on and on about how delicious it is and what a great cook I am, and it just makes me feel like a million bucks. He also points out the little things that we might say or do and how much he appreciates those or how much he admires those things. I have learned from his example the importance of showing gratitude to people you love for the things that they do as especially the things that they're kind of expected to do, the things that they do every single day, that often go unnoticed. When I apply this in my own parenting, it is a total game changer. Showing appreciation and praising our kids for the everyday things that they do that often go unnoticed, can really improve and change our relationship in meaningful ways. The final father, who I learn from every single day is the father of my children, my husband. I am sure that I am biased, but I'm convinced that my husband is the world's best dad, and I'm pretty sure that all of my children would agree with me. I tried, but I couldn't narrow it down to just one thing that I wanted to share with you that I've learned from him. So I have two. The first is the importance of looking back and reminiscing together. My husband loves a good airplay slideshow. Whenever we have friends or family over and visiting, he is constantly doing airplay from his phone to our TV to show off the latest pictures. We all tease him about it, and it's kind of a running joke at our house, but the truth is we all love it. That little trip down memory lane to look back at the memories that we've had together and share the things that we love with each other are so instrumental in building our relationships. My kids totally look forward to the airplay slideshow after we get home from a trip. And I had to giggle the other night when my daughter AirPlayed her phone to the TV the other night to show us all the pictures from her recent backpacking trip. The other lesson I have learned from my husband is to be the fun parent. Hands down, all of my kids will tell you. He is the fun one and for good reason because he is always up for doing something fun with our kids. Whether it's jumping in the pool with your clothes on, whether it's staying up late, and I mean late like 2:00 AM doing puzzles in the living room. Or taking the kids to the Dollar store to buy treats for Bingo night. I don't know why they love the Dollar Store so much, but I am not a big shopper and so I always appreciate that he is willing to take them because they think it's so much fun. I have loved watching his relationship with our kids, grow and develop as I see him, just drop everything else and have fun with our kids. And it's been a great reminder to me to just let go of all the schedules and everyone needs to be here on this time and at this place, and I'm trying to coordinate it all and I'm trying to get dinner done and check off the things on the list to just drop all of that sometimes and have fun with my kids because those are the things that they remember. Those are the things that really build our relationship and make those memories that are going to last. I am so thankful for these amazing father figures in my life and for the influence that they have had on me. I am sure that you also have some incredible father figures in your life, and I wanna challenge you this week to think about those fathers and the lessons that you have learned from them, and see if there is something that you can take away that you can apply in your own parenting. I wanna thank you so much for being here and supporting this podcast and listening every single week. And if you are loving what you hear here, if you are learning something from what I share each week, I would appreciate it so much if you would leave a rating or review on whatever podcast platform you listen on. Those ratings and reviews help this podcast to reach more parents just like you, who are trying to raise emotionally healthy teens and make the most of the years they have left with their teenager.
